What I should’ve told you, Ma’am
You may think that I only leave a good impression on the first few sessions, and then my energy level and interest in your class gradually drops.
Maybe it is true. Maybe it isn’t.
There’s one thing I know for sure: During those times when you thought I have failed you, I was battling my own personal struggles.
I made a mistake for not having told you earlier what I should have told you, for not having answered the questions you asked about my issues, and for having disappointed you... for not being able to live up to your expectations of how good a student I can become.
Yes, there is competition in our class. I have nothing against academic competitions, Ma’am, for I genuinely believe such can become healthful and helpful for students’ growth and learning. But ours, Ma’am, I’d like to believe is neither advantageous nor beneficial to the majority of the class.
While you think nothing is wrong, there had been cases of sabotage. Asking professors for “special” merit activities, murmuring and sharing answers not only during examinations but also during seat works and research assignments, “checking” friends’ wrong answers in quizzes, leaving blank items so they may write the correct answers during the rechecking of papers, handouts that do not circulate in the entire class but only to friends of the “blessed ones”, edited Powerpoint presentations that are sent through email only during the wee hours of the morning, late announcements of upcoming quizzes and school-related projects and activities... — All these, Ma’am, all these and so much more have I kept from you.
And now we see that these “blessed ones” have earned your trust?
Yes, we were friends, Ma’am. I used to think and believe that we were friends. And that makes it all the more difficult. They wear masks and hide their true colors when they need something from you, and after getting what they want, they rip off their facade and leave you with regrets, not gratitude.
And now we see that these “blessed ones” have earned your trust?
They say my grade in participation is doubtful for I rarely recite. But how will one have the courage to recite, Ma’am, when whatever comes from your mouth is used against you?
They accuse me of meeting professors after class, implying that this is how I get good grades — good grades that they believe I do not deserve. Now, tell me, Ma’am. Who texts and calls you just to say sorry for being late in your class? Whose class is dismissed at 2:30 in the afternoon then waits until 8 o’clock in the evening just to go home with you? Who goes out to lunch with their professor? Aren’t they the “blessed ones”, Ma’am?
And now we see that these “blessed ones” have earned your trust?
You ask them favors, and they courteously accept the responsibility. But who ultimately does the job, Ma’am? Are you certain they do what you’d ask of them and that they don’t just claim the credit due others?
When you look for them to ask about the status of the favor you’ve assigned to them, how sure are you that they were truly absent and not just faking their non-attendance in class? How sure are you that they had been misinformed by the other students whom they know you also trust?
And now we see that these “blessed ones” have earned your trust?
And now you ask why no one ever told you these things?
Who will dare go against the favored, the “blessed ones”, whom you trust dearly, Ma’am?
I know I made a mistake for not having told you earlier what I should have told you, for not having answered the questions you asked about my issues, and for having disappointed you... for not being able to live up to your expectations of how good a student I can become.
But, Ma’am, has it ever crossed your mind if, during those times when you thought a good student has failed you, she was battling her own personal struggles? •
Maybe it is true. Maybe it isn’t.
There’s one thing I know for sure: During those times when you thought I have failed you, I was battling my own personal struggles.
I made a mistake for not having told you earlier what I should have told you, for not having answered the questions you asked about my issues, and for having disappointed you... for not being able to live up to your expectations of how good a student I can become.
Yes, there is competition in our class. I have nothing against academic competitions, Ma’am, for I genuinely believe such can become healthful and helpful for students’ growth and learning. But ours, Ma’am, I’d like to believe is neither advantageous nor beneficial to the majority of the class.
While you think nothing is wrong, there had been cases of sabotage. Asking professors for “special” merit activities, murmuring and sharing answers not only during examinations but also during seat works and research assignments, “checking” friends’ wrong answers in quizzes, leaving blank items so they may write the correct answers during the rechecking of papers, handouts that do not circulate in the entire class but only to friends of the “blessed ones”, edited Powerpoint presentations that are sent through email only during the wee hours of the morning, late announcements of upcoming quizzes and school-related projects and activities... — All these, Ma’am, all these and so much more have I kept from you.
And now we see that these “blessed ones” have earned your trust?
Yes, we were friends, Ma’am. I used to think and believe that we were friends. And that makes it all the more difficult. They wear masks and hide their true colors when they need something from you, and after getting what they want, they rip off their facade and leave you with regrets, not gratitude.
And now we see that these “blessed ones” have earned your trust?
They say my grade in participation is doubtful for I rarely recite. But how will one have the courage to recite, Ma’am, when whatever comes from your mouth is used against you?
They accuse me of meeting professors after class, implying that this is how I get good grades — good grades that they believe I do not deserve. Now, tell me, Ma’am. Who texts and calls you just to say sorry for being late in your class? Whose class is dismissed at 2:30 in the afternoon then waits until 8 o’clock in the evening just to go home with you? Who goes out to lunch with their professor? Aren’t they the “blessed ones”, Ma’am?
And now we see that these “blessed ones” have earned your trust?
You ask them favors, and they courteously accept the responsibility. But who ultimately does the job, Ma’am? Are you certain they do what you’d ask of them and that they don’t just claim the credit due others?
When you look for them to ask about the status of the favor you’ve assigned to them, how sure are you that they were truly absent and not just faking their non-attendance in class? How sure are you that they had been misinformed by the other students whom they know you also trust?
And now we see that these “blessed ones” have earned your trust?
And now you ask why no one ever told you these things?
Who will dare go against the favored, the “blessed ones”, whom you trust dearly, Ma’am?
I know I made a mistake for not having told you earlier what I should have told you, for not having answered the questions you asked about my issues, and for having disappointed you... for not being able to live up to your expectations of how good a student I can become.
But, Ma’am, has it ever crossed your mind if, during those times when you thought a good student has failed you, she was battling her own personal struggles? •