On approaching my late twenties
(Originally posted on my Facebook account.)
BAGUIO CITY — I’ve always had an excuse to delay thinking about and acting on my resolutions: my birthday falls on January so, technically, my “new year” begins two weeks into the new year.
I actually enjoy creating lists of lifestyle changes and new habits I wish to incorporate in my life. (I like making lists in general!) Goals are fun to think about and enumerate — but the making things happen part demands grit and guts. And the way to achieving goals and cementing habits are paved with lessons and insights.
Since I am celebrating my birthday, allow me to share my thoughts as I embrace the fact that I’m now approaching my late twenties, hopefully becoming wiser as I grow older.
1. I think most of us get so caught up with the idea that new year = new beginnings = fresh start that we tend to underestimate the changes we can make on a regular day as well as how much we are capable of doing with the time we have. Like, seriously, set a timer for 10 minutes and clean your room for until the alarm rings. You’ll be surprised at how much you’ve accomplished in a fraction of an hour. Similarly, if you have an app that tracks your phone usage, you’d be surprised to see how the seemingly short, negligible time spent scrolling on your social media feed actually eats up hours in your day.
Methinks, we use phrases like “days passing by” and “time goes by swiftly” because we don’t savor moments as they happen. If we’re more mindful about how we spend most of our time — which, if one thinks about it, we often squander by ruminating about what happened in the past or getting anxious over something that’s yet to happen — then maybe we won’t need to wait for January 1 or, in my case, my birthday to make the changes I wish to make. We always say new year = new me. Why not, new day = new me?
2. Birthdays have almost always been like regular days for me, and I only learned to actually celebrate in my 20s. In my 2018 planner, I wrote these words in black ink (I’ve my own color-coding scheme), which meant it’s non-negotiable: “CMS’ 25th Birthday. (Please celebrate.)” I continued the practice since then. The practice of writing these sort of reminders, I mean.
Celebrations don’t always have to be grand though. Sometimes, all it takes is a slice of blueberry cheesecake. Or friends who fight sleepiness just to be able to greet me by midnight. Or basically anyone who remembers to greet me even when I myself don’t usually make a big deal out of January 14.
3. The internet has a way of making us reconsider some truths we grew up with. One lie I keep seeing is that if you’re passionate about something, you have to get good at it. Guess it works for some people, but not for everyone. Don’t let the pressure of perfection stop you from enjoying your hobbies and interests.
I’ve had an on-off relationship with my mat since 2016. I’d often say I’m too busy, too tired, I can’t catch the classes I want, I don’t wanna do the laundry, I’m not flexible enough, and so on — when these only mask the deep-seated fear that I’m not that good at yoga even when it’s something I love. Today — yesterday, technically — I joined a yoga class at the Pranalaya Yoga and Wellness studio in Baguio City, my first time in quite a while. I’m happy to be reunited with the yoga mat, happier that it happened on my birthday; I consider it the first step to claiming what Teacher Sarah called “LifeCentral”, a wordplay from the name of my work group DocuCentral.
^ At the yoga studio
^ I was really tired after the hot hatha class;
hence, this shaky shot.
Try to recall what you’d do on lazy weekend afternoons as a child. Remember why you did the things you loved doing in your younger years. They’re mostly inconsequential activities where fun is the major, and perhaps the only, consideration. Stop letting society tell you that you have to be good at art to keep creating, or that you have to be earning some moolah so you can pursue an interest. Just do it.
4. Read, read, read. In the coffee shop, instead of ranting about the WiFi password the barista won’t give you despite your buying two hundred bucks worth of coffee, read the newspaper. I don’t care if you skim or skip and go straight to the horoscope section. Read magazines. Read books, e-books, manga. Read that packaging on your shampoo bottle or potato chips. The copywriter didn’t put so much effort in her work just so it’d be neglected.
Stay away from the echo chamber that is social media. Even just for a liiiiittle bit. I know it’s hard, but I’ve been doing it for a few years now — I don’t have the Facebook app on my phone; my Instagram and Twitter notifications are also turned off — and it works wonders. There’s too much content to consume and too little time to process these ideas. Reading is a change of pace; it opens you to new perspectives while also allowing you to think for yourself.
5. Don’t keep the good things you want to say to yourself. Last year, I told yogi Maris Degener about how her biographical documentary inspired me to be take another chance at yoga, I went up to actress Shamaine Buencamino after a PETA show and told her I was conceptualizing a mental health documentary and I wish she’d be a part of it (she said she’d be more than willing to help out; she eventually became one of our interviewees in the documentary that aired last year), I sent Finnish soprano Sanna Iljin a message where I shared my hopes and dreams, and I spoke to one of my journo heroes (for a lack of a better term, haha!) — I’m not saying who.
I’m not saying this so you can avoid the regrets of not having said what you could’ve said, though that’s also a good point to make. Just imagine how kind words can make someone’s day. It’s a miracle of our own doing: being able to uplift a person’s mood by uttering a few simple words of “You did well!” or “That’s a fine photo!” and actually mean it.
Note to self: Do it more often, and not only to strangers and people you look up to.
6. Find your support group, and be a part of someone else’s. True friends are gems. But you don’t keep them in a velvet box and use them only when you want to accessorize.
7. It’s an unfortunate thing I didn’t inherit my mom’s green thumb. So far, I’ve killed two cacti (I think), three succulents (one of which I was “babysitting” for my best friend, LOL), an anthurium, and an aloe vera.
But I have Taylor (a snake plant — not saying why I named her that!), Peace (sensation giant, or more commonly known as peace lily), Polo / Belinda / Cruella (pink dalmatian), and Pineapple and Bambam (both snake plant variants). Special thanks to H and Dan for the holiday gifts! I had to “baptize” them in the hopes they’ll live!
If there’s anything I learned from my struggles as a desperate plant parent, it’s this: Every plant has specific needs. Some need more sunlight, others prefer indirect light. Some require regular watering, some can thrive even if watered only when you remember to do so.
And people are like plants. We have different needs. Some recharge with solitude, others prefer being in the company of friends and family. Some flourish through affirming words, while others grow through autonomy. Yadda yadda. You get the drift. It’s senseless treating an anthurium as if it’s a snake plant. Respect individuality.
8. Notice the little things. The blue sky. The comfort of the fabric on your skin. That you rode the bus home exactly when there’s just one free seat left. That you have access to the music you like. That you’ve shoes on your feet, legs for walking, food for nourishment. That you have a lot of things to be grateful. We often take these things for granted because we either look so far ahead or just get used to having these.
9. Corollary to the aforementioned point: Look around and notice other things. Notice that you’re fortunate because you have options in this life. Use that privilege to help — and if you can’t help for whatever reason, at least don’t hurt others. All is suffering. What a Buddhist concept, ‘no? But, really, open your eyes and heart enough, and you’ll see there’s too much suffering in this world. It makes me cry sometimes. Hope we can just be kinder to everyone.
10. I can keep rambling, mindlessly, but getting older = getting tired faster, I guess. So I’ll just end with a simple lesson I had much difficulty to learn: Rest. Don’t wait until you’re at your limit. Rest when your body tells you it needs to rest. There’s nothing glorious about not getting enough sleep just because you can.
Love and light, y’all. And happy birthday to me. •
^ Birthday lunch at the Baguio Botanical Garden
BAGUIO CITY — I’ve always had an excuse to delay thinking about and acting on my resolutions: my birthday falls on January so, technically, my “new year” begins two weeks into the new year.
I actually enjoy creating lists of lifestyle changes and new habits I wish to incorporate in my life. (I like making lists in general!) Goals are fun to think about and enumerate — but the making things happen part demands grit and guts. And the way to achieving goals and cementing habits are paved with lessons and insights.
Since I am celebrating my birthday, allow me to share my thoughts as I embrace the fact that I’m now approaching my late twenties, hopefully becoming wiser as I grow older.
1. I think most of us get so caught up with the idea that new year = new beginnings = fresh start that we tend to underestimate the changes we can make on a regular day as well as how much we are capable of doing with the time we have. Like, seriously, set a timer for 10 minutes and clean your room for until the alarm rings. You’ll be surprised at how much you’ve accomplished in a fraction of an hour. Similarly, if you have an app that tracks your phone usage, you’d be surprised to see how the seemingly short, negligible time spent scrolling on your social media feed actually eats up hours in your day.
Methinks, we use phrases like “days passing by” and “time goes by swiftly” because we don’t savor moments as they happen. If we’re more mindful about how we spend most of our time — which, if one thinks about it, we often squander by ruminating about what happened in the past or getting anxious over something that’s yet to happen — then maybe we won’t need to wait for January 1 or, in my case, my birthday to make the changes I wish to make. We always say new year = new me. Why not, new day = new me?
2. Birthdays have almost always been like regular days for me, and I only learned to actually celebrate in my 20s. In my 2018 planner, I wrote these words in black ink (I’ve my own color-coding scheme), which meant it’s non-negotiable: “CMS’ 25th Birthday. (Please celebrate.)” I continued the practice since then. The practice of writing these sort of reminders, I mean.
Celebrations don’t always have to be grand though. Sometimes, all it takes is a slice of blueberry cheesecake. Or friends who fight sleepiness just to be able to greet me by midnight. Or basically anyone who remembers to greet me even when I myself don’t usually make a big deal out of January 14.
3. The internet has a way of making us reconsider some truths we grew up with. One lie I keep seeing is that if you’re passionate about something, you have to get good at it. Guess it works for some people, but not for everyone. Don’t let the pressure of perfection stop you from enjoying your hobbies and interests.
I’ve had an on-off relationship with my mat since 2016. I’d often say I’m too busy, too tired, I can’t catch the classes I want, I don’t wanna do the laundry, I’m not flexible enough, and so on — when these only mask the deep-seated fear that I’m not that good at yoga even when it’s something I love. Today — yesterday, technically — I joined a yoga class at the Pranalaya Yoga and Wellness studio in Baguio City, my first time in quite a while. I’m happy to be reunited with the yoga mat, happier that it happened on my birthday; I consider it the first step to claiming what Teacher Sarah called “LifeCentral”, a wordplay from the name of my work group DocuCentral.
^ At the yoga studio
^ I was really tired after the hot hatha class;
hence, this shaky shot.
Try to recall what you’d do on lazy weekend afternoons as a child. Remember why you did the things you loved doing in your younger years. They’re mostly inconsequential activities where fun is the major, and perhaps the only, consideration. Stop letting society tell you that you have to be good at art to keep creating, or that you have to be earning some moolah so you can pursue an interest. Just do it.
4. Read, read, read. In the coffee shop, instead of ranting about the WiFi password the barista won’t give you despite your buying two hundred bucks worth of coffee, read the newspaper. I don’t care if you skim or skip and go straight to the horoscope section. Read magazines. Read books, e-books, manga. Read that packaging on your shampoo bottle or potato chips. The copywriter didn’t put so much effort in her work just so it’d be neglected.
Stay away from the echo chamber that is social media. Even just for a liiiiittle bit. I know it’s hard, but I’ve been doing it for a few years now — I don’t have the Facebook app on my phone; my Instagram and Twitter notifications are also turned off — and it works wonders. There’s too much content to consume and too little time to process these ideas. Reading is a change of pace; it opens you to new perspectives while also allowing you to think for yourself.
5. Don’t keep the good things you want to say to yourself. Last year, I told yogi Maris Degener about how her biographical documentary inspired me to be take another chance at yoga, I went up to actress Shamaine Buencamino after a PETA show and told her I was conceptualizing a mental health documentary and I wish she’d be a part of it (she said she’d be more than willing to help out; she eventually became one of our interviewees in the documentary that aired last year), I sent Finnish soprano Sanna Iljin a message where I shared my hopes and dreams, and I spoke to one of my journo heroes (for a lack of a better term, haha!) — I’m not saying who.
I’m not saying this so you can avoid the regrets of not having said what you could’ve said, though that’s also a good point to make. Just imagine how kind words can make someone’s day. It’s a miracle of our own doing: being able to uplift a person’s mood by uttering a few simple words of “You did well!” or “That’s a fine photo!” and actually mean it.
Note to self: Do it more often, and not only to strangers and people you look up to.
6. Find your support group, and be a part of someone else’s. True friends are gems. But you don’t keep them in a velvet box and use them only when you want to accessorize.
7. It’s an unfortunate thing I didn’t inherit my mom’s green thumb. So far, I’ve killed two cacti (I think), three succulents (one of which I was “babysitting” for my best friend, LOL), an anthurium, and an aloe vera.
But I have Taylor (a snake plant — not saying why I named her that!), Peace (sensation giant, or more commonly known as peace lily), Polo / Belinda / Cruella (pink dalmatian), and Pineapple and Bambam (both snake plant variants). Special thanks to H and Dan for the holiday gifts! I had to “baptize” them in the hopes they’ll live!
If there’s anything I learned from my struggles as a desperate plant parent, it’s this: Every plant has specific needs. Some need more sunlight, others prefer indirect light. Some require regular watering, some can thrive even if watered only when you remember to do so.
And people are like plants. We have different needs. Some recharge with solitude, others prefer being in the company of friends and family. Some flourish through affirming words, while others grow through autonomy. Yadda yadda. You get the drift. It’s senseless treating an anthurium as if it’s a snake plant. Respect individuality.
8. Notice the little things. The blue sky. The comfort of the fabric on your skin. That you rode the bus home exactly when there’s just one free seat left. That you have access to the music you like. That you’ve shoes on your feet, legs for walking, food for nourishment. That you have a lot of things to be grateful. We often take these things for granted because we either look so far ahead or just get used to having these.
9. Corollary to the aforementioned point: Look around and notice other things. Notice that you’re fortunate because you have options in this life. Use that privilege to help — and if you can’t help for whatever reason, at least don’t hurt others. All is suffering. What a Buddhist concept, ‘no? But, really, open your eyes and heart enough, and you’ll see there’s too much suffering in this world. It makes me cry sometimes. Hope we can just be kinder to everyone.
10. I can keep rambling, mindlessly, but getting older = getting tired faster, I guess. So I’ll just end with a simple lesson I had much difficulty to learn: Rest. Don’t wait until you’re at your limit. Rest when your body tells you it needs to rest. There’s nothing glorious about not getting enough sleep just because you can.
Love and light, y’all. And happy birthday to me. •
^ Birthday lunch at the Baguio Botanical Garden