Piece by piece
I bear no pretenses. I know — and I admit — that I am a mess.
Right now, I see myself as a bigger wreck than I was before. Still, I feel hopeful because I know I have a strong support system and I am able to help myself somehow. Lately, I have been practicing yoga, and I try to do this regularly. I have also been seeing a psychologist.
In one of our sessions, I told Dr. Briones about the three-week leave I requested from my boss. This break didn’t come without consequences, though. I had to trade off one of the stories I had been working on, which means I will be earning nil for about half a month, just to get some me time. I thought that risk would be worth it. I still think the same.
When my shrink asked what my intention or goal was for this vacation, I replied enthusiastically — because I have long ruminated on this — “I actually have a theme: self-love and compassion.”
The first two weeks went by with me trying to keep myself from working (because I am a self-confessed workaholic). I ended up attending a lunch meeting that lasted for about four hours, coordinating fleet services and eventually attending an awards night (because no one else in our team wanted to receive the award), and pre-interviewing a big boss as well as filing some requests for video footage for another documentary mini-series that we are working on.
A friend had to tell me to stay away in the city because I cannot not work. Without concrete plans for my vacation, I will just end up dropping by the office, she said.
In essence, my days sort of went by without me actually being, uhm, productive, i.e. accomplishing the things I initially wanted to do, such as hiking or spending some alone time in a nature place.
I knew that I wanted to get back to work, and in the hustle that comes with working on three different projects simultaneously, feeling refreshed and organized. With only barely a week left in my break, I decided to give myself some well-deserved respite.
I staycationed in the metro. But I had a friend come over for chitchats over meals, and for her to practice her makeup skills on me.
^ My breakfast buddies, Eila and Nigel
^ Eila, putting on some girly makeup-related substance on my face. Haha! I love this woman!
I hit the fitness room of the hotel where I stayed, and it was the first time I tried the treadmill.
I also swam or, more accurately, tried to re-learn the lessons in my swimming class, which I should’ve already known by now. I got a tan for dipping in the pool at noontime. At least, I can tell others I actually did some of those generic vacation activities.
As well, I took some time to practice calligraphy with my good friend, albeit only for a few minutes — something that I have put off for, perhaps, more than a year now.
As I write this post, I have only a day left in my vacation. But I am content and happy. This is self-love and compassion, which I am learning, piece by piece. •
(Mood song: I have always loved Demi Lovato’s “Warrior”, but its words never meant so much to me until now.)
Right now, I see myself as a bigger wreck than I was before. Still, I feel hopeful because I know I have a strong support system and I am able to help myself somehow. Lately, I have been practicing yoga, and I try to do this regularly. I have also been seeing a psychologist.
In one of our sessions, I told Dr. Briones about the three-week leave I requested from my boss. This break didn’t come without consequences, though. I had to trade off one of the stories I had been working on, which means I will be earning nil for about half a month, just to get some me time. I thought that risk would be worth it. I still think the same.
When my shrink asked what my intention or goal was for this vacation, I replied enthusiastically — because I have long ruminated on this — “I actually have a theme: self-love and compassion.”
The first two weeks went by with me trying to keep myself from working (because I am a self-confessed workaholic). I ended up attending a lunch meeting that lasted for about four hours, coordinating fleet services and eventually attending an awards night (because no one else in our team wanted to receive the award), and pre-interviewing a big boss as well as filing some requests for video footage for another documentary mini-series that we are working on.
A friend had to tell me to stay away in the city because I cannot not work. Without concrete plans for my vacation, I will just end up dropping by the office, she said.
In essence, my days sort of went by without me actually being, uhm, productive, i.e. accomplishing the things I initially wanted to do, such as hiking or spending some alone time in a nature place.
I knew that I wanted to get back to work, and in the hustle that comes with working on three different projects simultaneously, feeling refreshed and organized. With only barely a week left in my break, I decided to give myself some well-deserved respite.
I staycationed in the metro. But I had a friend come over for chitchats over meals, and for her to practice her makeup skills on me.
^ My breakfast buddies, Eila and Nigel
^ Eila, putting on some girly makeup-related substance on my face. Haha! I love this woman!
I hit the fitness room of the hotel where I stayed, and it was the first time I tried the treadmill.
I also swam or, more accurately, tried to re-learn the lessons in my swimming class, which I should’ve already known by now. I got a tan for dipping in the pool at noontime. At least, I can tell others I actually did some of those generic vacation activities.
As well, I took some time to practice calligraphy with my good friend, albeit only for a few minutes — something that I have put off for, perhaps, more than a year now.
As I write this post, I have only a day left in my vacation. But I am content and happy. This is self-love and compassion, which I am learning, piece by piece. •
(Mood song: I have always loved Demi Lovato’s “Warrior”, but its words never meant so much to me until now.)